Forever Awkward, But Always Amused

Yesterday I had an awkward/amusing exchange.

I was coming back up from a quick trip to the apartment basement (reserved solely for overdue laundry runs and trash drop-off). I was distracted by my phone and didn’t notice the elevator stop at the main floor. (You HAVE to use the elevator to get to the basement, otherwise I’d take the stairs.)

The door binged, I placed my iPhone in my pocket, and swung the door open. I quickly realized it was not my floor. What alerted me to this was not my superior observant capabilities (because, let’s be real, they should have kicked in MUCH sooner) but because of the baby sitting in the stroller in the lobby.

I stopped. The baby looked up at me. I looked back. Then I looked right. Then looked back. The baby was still staring at me, a sort of vacant, but also “what are you doing with your life?” expression. (Side note, how can a face be both vacant AND make you question your life in .223 seconds? This baby, man.)

Unfortunately, I had also partially stepped out of the elevator and was now unsure how to proceed.

Several thoughts ran through my head:

  • Why hadn’t I noticed this wasn’t my floor?
  • Why was that baby right in front of the elevator door, consequently blocking the only exit?
  • Where was the baby’s keeper?
  • Who leaves a baby in the lobby??
  • And in the way of an OUTWARD swinging door?
  • How did they know the exact distance from the stroller to the swinging door?
  • Should I wait for the parent to come back?
  • Isn’t there some sort of protocol for holding the elevator in this type of situation, like a Baby In Lobby Pending Parental Pick Up Clause?
  • But really, where was the parent?!??

I did what any normal person would do. I gave the baby a slightly apologetic look while quickly backing into the elevator, desperately pushing the “door close” button, hoping no one was watching. I definitely did not panic and kept my cool in this potentially awkward situation.


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