How To Make Friends On The Subway

Step 1. Position self near rail for safety purposes.

Step 2. Be incredibly inefficient at holding on to said rail while maintaining a swaying body motion.

Step 3. Accidentally lose balance and step backwards onto the foot of the man behind you, stumble forward and cause other subway passengers to veer out of your way.

Step 4. Apologize to all.

Step 5. Move 3 feet away so to avoid stepping on that poor man again.

Step 6. Repeat.